I can’t help but think of my own parents’ wedding- a very small affair with many relatives at the community church in my mum’s community. I’m not sure how much her dress was, but the photos were just taken with a regular camera, the bouquets were small and simple, the reception was in the church basement.
I can tell by the pictures (many of which are blurry by the drunken hand of my uncle) that everyone had a great time. The stories that I hear about my parents’ wedding have nothing to do with how much things cost, or how pretty the decorations were, but how much fun everyone had.
I can’t help but think of my grandparents, who got married in the middle of WWII- what kind of a wedding did they get? I certainly have never seen photos. Their eldest child was born when they were still overseas in England. I can imagine a humble wedding before a priest or judge, with an awesome reception afterwards showcasing British hospitality.
I can’t help but meditate on how much the concept of a wedding has changed, even in the course of a generation. People seem ashamed to get married without a whole bunch of fanfare. Much like Christmas, we get a high from going ‘all out’ and spending as much as we can to feel like kings for a day.
Me, I’m more concerned with the marriage part. You get a lifetime of anniversaries and Valentine’s Days in that deal, on which to go crazy. So much time to love and be loved. That’s what I like.
The thing I keep re-iterating is “poor people get married too”. And then they look at me like I’m retarded and don’t quite get it. Of course I get it- but I want a wedding so I can be married. We live in a country where we can marry just for love, and not just for obligation, or reasons of religion or culture.
Much like we have to remind ourselves that the spirit of Christmas is giving, we have to remind ourselves that the reason for a wedding is loving.
Oy, I’m rambling.
