I’ve only been with him for a year, and things are okay… it’s hard for me to distinguish panic due to stress from panic due to boyfriend. I’m in a very similar situation as the latter part of my 5-year relationship, so maybe I’m just gunshy. I don’t know.
The point is that my current BF has become VERY good friends with the groom. Bride is all giddy-happy about this, because it fits comfortably into her life like a form-fitting pink sweater.
The problem, however, is convincing her that me and current BF are not in a super fantastic position where we want to spend the rest of our lives together. We barely even understand each other. We love each other, but it is a long way from that solid “yes, I want to marry this guy” mentality. She’s still high on the post-wedding glee, so she has now become useless and annoying whenever I try to confide my relationship concerns/fears in her. She just has this “oh, you’re fine” attitude…I’m SLOWLY starting to make her understand.
What she needs to understand is that not every relationship is a whirlwind romance like hers (pfft!) and one year is only one year in some relationships. I don’t care if Groom proposed at the one-year mark- I don’t consider that a common thing.
The new BF is a nice guy- but he doesn’t open up easily. Or at all. This is the longest he’s ever been in a relationship, and there are still things we’re ironing out. In the end, I can’t guarantee it’ll last because I can’t say we’ve gathered enough info to make that decision yet.
So I am not so receptive when Bride tries to drag me kicking and screaming into a conversation about my hypothetical future wedding. That’s a conversation where I just start saying the exact opposite of how she did it, just to piss her off and get her off the subject.
There’s also the problem that the new BF has very limited exposure to weddings, and his parents got married by a judge. Yes, I’m pretty unconventional, but I would probably want a little more than that.
Overall, the new relationship doesn’t feel very permanent. Partly me, partly him. But then again, only time will tell. 
